Dalia
This is an excerpt of an interview with Loryn Brantz from Humans of New York, published September 29, 2021
“I knew right away something wasn’t right. When they plopped her on my chest, she was amazing, and alive—but she looked like a skinny pink frog. The only way to feed her was to drip milk in her mouth, 24/7. Those first weeks I was getting such little sleep that I began to have hallucinations: babies on the ceiling, babies on the wall. My husband’s job was to hunt down the diagnosis, while I kept her alive. The blood tests suggested two rare genetic conditions. He had a harder time with it than me. Optimism felt like denial to him, so he got lost in the research. But I tend to be a magical thinker. Maybe too much at times. I love Disney World. I worked on Sesame Street. I draw comics for a living, and make children’s books. I’ve even written a letter for after I die. It says: ‘Don’t be sad. We’re given this life and bad things happen, but we get to be with our families and look at trees.’ I’ve heard people ask: ‘Why bring a child into this world?’ With climate change, and all that. Would you choose to be born? My answer is yes. Even during the apocalypse I’d want to be alive. So I could have a few more minutes in the shelter, with my family, watching on TV as the fireballs fall from the sky. Maybe I’m weird like that. My husband is a little weird too. So it just makes sense that now we have this weird, magical kid.
Dalia is 2.5 now. She wears her little helmet, and braces. We take little walks, and see the city, and look at trees. Her condition makes it hard to wake up in the morning, so we get to have thirty minutes of huggy time. And any time she smiles it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s not easy. There’s a lot of doctor visits. Therapies every day. But I danced when I was young, so I’m used to repetitive movements. Everything in my life just makes it seem like I was meant for this child. And it’s impossible to predict what will happen. There’s such a wide spectrum with her condition. When we asked the therapist if she’d ever walk, we were told: ‘Miracles happen.’ But Dalia is walking now. So I’m optimistic. I think things will work out. I think she’ll live independently one day. Either that, or I get to live with my best friend forever.”