Mind The Gap: March - April Wrapt

I wanted to share something that I learnt this past month, and I am still very much in the process of learning.

Last month, on January 26, when Kobe Bryant and his daughter, Gianna died, there was so much that went through the media, that went through the spheres of public processing and through all of our minds.

Over the course of his public professional life we watched Kobe Bryant grow, we matched him mature, we watched his success sore- as a father, a community man, a sportsman, a representative, and a hero for many. And then, unfortunately, we saw the helicopter accident over Los Angeles county that resulted in his death and his daughter's tragic and untimely death. In addition to Bryant, 41, and his daughter, 13, the crash claimed the lives of Payton Chester, 13; Sarah Chester, 45; Alyssa Altobelli, 14; Keri Altobelli, 46; John Altobelli, 56; Christina Mauser, 38; and the helicopter's pilot, Ara Zobayan, 50.

Like everyone else grasping to accept the sudden and shocking news, I was saddened by the loss of a young father and his daughter, a shining star to many. But in truth, I knew very little about his professional life, so little in fact that I couldn’t quite place him. It took me a minute to recall from where I knew his name. And then it came to me; it was my first year of university, and I remembered the allegations brought against him of sexual assault and misconduct. It's harder to forget, they were in every newspaper, in almost every publication I read and played out on so many news cycles. Over the course of my second semester in 2003, Bryant became the poster boy for what we, as young women needed to be careful of while starting our impending lives of adulthood, parties and social independence.

So perhaps it’s understandable as I watched each news cycle and social media hail him for his hero status that I thought 'well, what about the victim, the victims, what about the washing away of their truth and realities?' What about talking to the reality of his “high and lows”…but it’s not that easy, and it’s not that simple. Because while there is a nuanced and dark story there involving an issue of consent (which we are still very much grappling with today, so how much harder would it have been back then?!) that will likely remain hidden in the past, there is no denying that Bryant exemplified leadership over the course of his next 20 years through fatherhood, representation, generosity, education and forgiveness. And just as Kobe Bryant rose to be a representative of his community and demonstration of leadership, so are we representative of ours, with the potential for the same leadership.

In the spirit of this, I want to own my mistakes in navigating this event on the Wrapt social media platform; My first mistake was that I felt a 48 to 72-hour media cycle was a respectable amount of time having passed to start a conversation on this topic. So while I believe that the validity and importance of such a discussion are still incredibly valuable, I appreciate that didn’t need to be then, at that moment. My second mistake was that the conversation didn’t need to be led by me, a white woman, whose intentions may have been well placed, were unserving of the wider community and victims of sexual assault that I was speaking on behalf of, and of the issue and dialogue itself. This needs to be clearly stated, as does my apology because I am sorry for the lack of consideration I had for those truly suffering from the loss of these lives.

The work is plenty; the work is ongoing. I want to take this opportunity to thank the women in my world and the women of the Wrapt Community who held me accountable to my failures in this case. Just as we aspire to create constructive and critical dialogue, we need to be open to that same lens of critique. I want conversation, constructive criticism and mentorship because I want growth. I wish these were not the circumstances through which I was learning it, but I welcome it, and I thank you for your role in it.

Speaking of reconciling the realities of our world, our intentions and our desires over the next month, Wrapt will continue to feature pieces from the writing series seeking to create accountability and true inclusivity in the activist world. Additionally, we will also publish a concurrent reflection of international fashion month and it’s trends, while also exploring the fashion industry's need for more sustainable and ethical goals.

In the meantime, we want to wish you all a meaningful and healthy festive season. Reminding you to stay grounded, keep your hands clean and assumptions in check as we navigate this minefield that is the Corona Virus.

Sincerely,

Chav

Chava Kuchar

Editor in chief, Wrapt Magazine