Tears for one who never came to be

By Avital Harkham, Israel

Tears for one who never came to be.

I've lost you -
You didn't get to grow
we didn't get to know
you who you would be 
if you had got a chance to
see the world we were so looking forward
to welcoming you into

to holding you and knowing you
and looking into your eyes
to hearing you cry
to putting you to my breast
to wrapping you tight 
until you felt safe
to lulling you until
you slept 
like a baby

to bringing you home 
to the angel that would have been your brother
who has been praying
for someone to play with
to protect, to look after

And though somewhere in my mind
I know that you were not meant to be
that your heart stopped
beating at 146 beats per minute
a while ago
without us knowing 
I have still lost you
I am grieving for you
my child who never came to be